[EP011] The Galactus of bank robbing

(Selan skips into the house, tossing her backpack aside. She goes over to Selanio and Xeno, who are sitting on the couch, and gives them a hug from behind.)

Selan: Finals week is over!

Selanio: Finally. Selanio finished his finals yesterday.

Selan (letting go of them): Oh buu, brag brag brag. At least Selan will have better grades.

Selanio: Who says? Selanio totally aced his tests. u_u

Selan: Not better than I aced mine!

Xeno: I am so glad I’m done with college…

Selan: You say that now, but see how you’ll feel when you’re working all next week and we’re at home being all like, “Woo! Winter break!”

Selanio: Woo! Winter break!

Xeno (sighing): Whatever. I think I’d go nuts if I had to spend all day with Selanio, anyway.

Selan: Selan thinks we should plan some Christmastime mayhem. What thinks you guys?

Selanio: Sure, why not.

Selan: But not, like, ON Christmas. That’s presents-and-food time.

Selanio: Da.

Xeno: I’m working every day until Christmas.

Selan: Whaaat!

Xeno: I’m getting paid extra, so I asked Dougal to schedule me as many hours as possible. I mean, I’m gonna need it if you guys want presents, right?

Selan: That’s true. I do want presents.

Selanio: We could still do something after you’re done with work.

Selan: Naaah, forget it. Let’s just take it easy. We don’t get many vacations from evil, we should take advantage of it.

Selanio: Bleeeehh.

Selan (jumping over the back of the couch and plopping herself down between Xeno and Selanio): So! Watchin’ the news, eh? What’s going on in the news?

Xeno: Weather, Christmas stuff, and some bank robbery.

Selan: Bank robbery? Cool. Quantum or some random robbers?

Xeno: No clue. Apparently it happened at night, they didn’t even notice the robbery until they checked the vault this morning.

Selan: Smooooth. Someone’s got skillz.

Selanio: The news is boring. Selanio demands we watch something better. u_u

Selan: Let’s go do something to celebrate the end of the semester!

Xeno: I thought you said we’re taking a break from evil.

Selan: I mean like go out for dinner or something. Oh! I have an idea! (She gets out her phone and starts dialing a number)

Selanio: Who the hell are you calling?

Selan: Shhh, it’s ringing. Fuu fuu fuu… Hi Ann!

Selanio (facepalm): Oh, goddammit.

Selan: So hey, the semester’s over! Me and the homies were going out for a celebration dinner, wanna come? … Of course he can! … So make him come anyway! … Okay! See you then.

(Selan hangs up)

Selan: Selan is going to go take a shower before we go!

(Selan runs off to her bathroom. Selanio and Xeno look at each other, roll their eyes, and promptly begin fighting over the remote.)

(A little while later, the three are meeting Brian and Ann in front of a restaurant. Selan gives Ann a hug, and moves to give Brian a hug too. He gives her a death-glare, though, and she backs off. Soon the group is inside, seated at a table at the corner of the restaurant.)

Selan: Ahh, isn’t this nice, a dinner with all my friends~

Brian: I’m not your friend.

Selanio: Dinner with all the fiends is more like it.

Selan: Friends, fiends, what’s the difference~

Xeno: Among our lot, there isn’t any.

Selan: See, it’s all good! (She moves closer to Brian) So Brian, Selan was wondering if you would happen to know who was behind that very clever bank robbery last night?

Brian: Don’t look at me, I’ve been busy working on my history project this week.

Selan: So it wasn’t you? Aww darn, I hoped you’d share your secrets with us.

Brian: Even if it had been me, I wouldn’t tell you any of my secrets. u_u

Selan: Aww, you’re so mean. =< Well if it wasn’t you, then who was it?

Xeno: Bank robbers, probably?

Selanio: Obviously.

Selan: No, no wait, I know how this goes! It’s like—you know in comic books, you got the normal villains and then the super ultra villains? And the super ultra villains always do things really cool and stylish like. This is that! There’s a super-ultra-bank robber out there! It’s like the Galactus of bank robbing.

Xeno: I seriously doubt we’re dealing with anything like that.

Selanio: Who’s Galactus?

Ann: I can’t imagine someone that powerful wanting to rob banks. Couldn’t he just steal diamonds from white dwarf stars?

Selan: No. That’s not how it works in comics.

Brian: This isn’t a comic book. -_O

Selanio: Seriously. If this were a comic we’d be doing cooler stuff, and we’d all probably have cool origin stories involving like chemical explosions and stuff.

Selan: Selan’s origins involve a pharmaceutical accident, does that count?

Selanio: No.

Ann: Really? I’d like to hear about that.

Selan: Finally, someone cares! (She elbows Selanio in the ribs) See, when I was really little I was sick. Like, real sick, about to die sick. And there was this drug company testing this new medicine and my parents figured, hey, it’s free and it’s the only chance I’ve got, so they give it to me. I get better, but pretty soon the company and the government notice that a couple of the kids who got this medicine ended up with super powers. The government shut that down real quick. They documented all the kids with powers, but I was embarrassed about it so I pretended like I never got them and so no one ever noticed.

Selanio: Booooring.

Ann: What about you, Selanio?

Selanio (shrugging): All the men in Selanio’s family have these powers.

Selan: Now THAT’s boring.

Ann: And Xeno?

Xeno: Aliens. u_u

Ann (incredulous): Aliens gave you your powers?

Xeno: That’s right.

Brian: Bullshit.

Xeno: I’d like to see you prove me wrong.

Brian: There are no aliens. None that could get over here, anyway.

Xeno: Again I’ll say, prove me wrong.

(Brian rolls his eyes and sighs. Xeno smirks smugly. The waitress arrives with everyone’s food.)

Selan (after the waitress is gone): So what about you two? I mean, I know you haven’t got any powers but surely the public school system doesn’t teach kids to make jetpacks and lasers?

Ann: It’s all Brian. n_n He makes all the amazing machines; I just help out.

Brian: She’s being modest. She made her own jetpack, you know. It’s faster than mine.

Ann: I only made that with your help and you know it.

Selan: But how’d you learn to make things like that?

Brian (shrugging): I just knew. I mean, obviously I’m much smarter than the average person… maybe if you all were as smart as me, you’d be able to make such amazing inventions, too. u_u

Xeno: Hey, Selanio. looks like you have competition for the title of “villain with the biggest ego”.

(Selanio and Brian both glare at Xeno. Xeno laughs and then eats his food.)

Selan: Aww, Brian is so smart. <3

Brian: Of course I am. u_u (He eats too)

(The group finishes their meal, talking all the while. Eventually they finish and go their separate ways.)

--End: Episode eleven