[EP002] Nice hair.

(Selan and Selanio are walking down the hall of the English building, Selan clutching in her hands a clump of papers stapled together.)

Selanio: I don’t see why you’re dragging me along.

Selan: Selan doesn’t like going to teachers’ offices alone! Especially not Professor Marika. He scares me.

Selanio: Selanio does not like Professor Marika. He’s a dick.

Selan: He’s not a dick, he’s just scary beyond all reason.

Selanio: No, he’s a dick. u_u

Selan (rolling her eyes): Whatev…

(Selan and Selanio get to Marika’s office. Selan nervously knocks on the door.)

Marika (from inside): Come in!

(Selan looks at Selanio with a face that just screams “I really don’t want to be here”, and opens the door and walks in)

Marika: Hm? Yes?

Selan: Er… I um… Well, that big paper is due tomorrow and all, and I don’t think I’m gonna be able to make it to class, so I thought I’d turn it in now and… um… (She holds the paper out)

Marika (taking the paper): Is there a reason you won’t be in class tomorrow?

Selan: Er, um, ah… personal reasons. Something came up. I’d rather not discuss.

(Marika opens his mouth to speak, but the door opens and a boy with his hair dyed green walks in. He looks up at the other occupants of the room)

Boy: Um… am I interrupting anything?

Marika: No, Tavarius, just sit over there for a moment.

Selanio: Nice hair.

Tavvy (not sure if he’s sarcastic or not): Ah… thanks?

Marika (turning back to Selan): Anyway. This will be fine. You may go now.

Selan: Thanks. Um. Bye, then.

(Selan nods her head, and she and Selanio leave. Marika and Tavvy pause for a moment, as though waiting for Selan and Selanio to get far enough away, before Tavvy finally buries his face in the desk and groans)

Tavvy: This is too much!

Marika: What is?

Tavvy (lifting his head): This! This whole thing!

Marika (smiling): I surely don’t know what you’re talking about.

Tavvy: Oh, I’m sure you don’t! (He sighs) It was fine earlier. I just had to deal with the occasional bank robbery or whatever, and then Lady Ira and her cronies came along and I could deal with them, too. But now there’s this Quantum kid and now it seems like Ira’s group is specifically doing their attacks whenever I’m already busy dealing with Quantum and… (He puts his head in his hands) I’m exhausted.

Marika: I remember when I had at least five active adversaries all attacking the city at once, for weeks on end…

Tavvy: And I don’t know how you managed to do it! Honestly, would it be so hard for you to help me out once in a while?

Marika: I’m retired. I don’t do those things anymore.

Tavvy: You can’t just retire from being a hero!

Marika: I can, and I did.

Tavvy: But…

Marika: Listen to me, Tavarius. I know what you’re capable of. I know that you can handle this.

Tavvy: I’m not so sure.

Marika: You’d better be able to handle it. I can promise you that it does not get easier as time goes by.

(Tavvy sighs)

Marika: You have the potential to be a great hero. Perhaps even greater than me, some day.

Tavvy: You’re just saying that.

Marika: I don’t give away compliments that I don’t mean, and you know that.

(Tavvy looks away. His watch starts to beep. He looks at it, and lets out a relieved sigh.)

Tavvy: Oh good, just a bank robbery. This I can handle.

Marika: Go on, then.

(Tavvy walks to the door)

Marika: And good luck, Apogee.

Tavvy: … thanks, Professor.

(Tavvy runs out of the room)

(Meanwhile, Selan and Selanio have made their way outside and are walking down the sidewalk)

Selanio: So why are you skipping class tomorrow, anyway?

Selan: Xeno said that Quantum was going to be trying to steal some diamond tomorrow. I figured we’d pull off a heist while Apogee’s busy with that.

Selanio: Ah.

Selan: Hey, I thought you liked heists! You don’t seem very excited.

Selanio: I know, it’s just Selanio is a little tired of all these carefully planned heists. I like to just do things when we feel like doing them, you know?

Selan: Hmm… Hey, do you have any more classes today?

Selanio: No. You?

Selan: No. Let’s go blow some shit up.


Selanio (his face lighting up like a kid on Christmas): Really?

Selan: Yeah. Let’s go get changed.

(Not fifteen minutes later, downtown is in a panic as Baron von Boom and Lady Ira are throwing bombs every which way, demolishing anything in their sight. Civilians are fleeing the area screaming, and police officers stand far away, wondering why Apogee hasn’t showed up yet.)

Baron von Boom: Now THIS is what I’m talking about! Spontaneity, explosions… fuck yeah! (he throws a bomb at a hot dog stand. It explodes, raining chunks of questionable meat down onto the sidewalk around)

Lady Ira: Ira is pleased!

(Suddenly, a voice calls out from the sky)

Voice: Hold it!

Baron von Boom (sighing): Right on schedule…

(Apogee descends from the sky, floating on his jetpack. He looks rather winded, as though he’s really had to rush to get there)

Apogee: You guys seriously can’t give me one day off, can you?

Lady Ira: We didn’t do anything yesterday.

Apogee: Yeah, but there were like ten muggings I had to stop.

Lady Ira: Hey, don’t complain to me, I had nothing to do with it.

Apogee: Okay, I’ll give you that… could you stop attacking when I’m already busy, though? It’s seriously getting annoying.

Lady Ira: Sorry, no, we’re gonna keep that up.

Apogee (sighing): Jeez… well, okay. I guess this is where I say, (He fakes a heroic voice) I’m going to stop you, evildoers!

Lady Ira (clapping): Nice! Very dramatic.

Baron von Boom: Heh. I’d like to see you try! (He shoots some energy bolts at Apogee, who dodges)

Lady Ira: Yeah! (She throws a bunch of kunai at Apogee) Take that, Apogeek!

Apogee (dodging the kunai): Apogeek? Is that the best you can come up with?

Baron von Boom: Seriously, Ira, that was lame.

Lady Ira (shrugging): It was there. Ira had to say it.

Baron von Boom: How long have you been waiting to use that one?

Lady Ira: Oh, shut up!

Apogee: Sorry to interrupt this little squabble, but-- (He uses his laser vision on Lady Ira, who blocks it with a barrier.)

(Apogee rushes forward, fists raised, and tries to hit Baron von Boom. Baron catches each of Apogee’s fists in his own hands, however, and grins as he holds the hero back.)

Baron von Boom: Nice hair. That a side-effect of your superpowers, or do you actually think it looks cool?

Lady Ira: Hey, I kinda like his hair…

Apogee: I should ask you the same about that moustache.

Baron von Boom: Hey, Baron von Boom’s moustache is badass! (He throws Apogee back) You’re just jealous because you’re not man enough to grow any facial hair!

Lady Ira: With his features, Apogee would look terrible with facial hair.

Apogee (catching himself in mid-air): Yeah, I prefer not looking creepy and weird, like you.

Baron von Boom: Baron von Boom looks badass! (He starts shooting more energy bolts at Apogee)

(Apogee dodges the blasts and flies at Baron again. When he gets close enough, Baron von Boom tries to punch him—Apogee dodges and, while Baron is off-balance, lands a punch in Baron’s gut. He follows this with a punch to Baron’s face, and then lifts Baron up and throws him—he goes flying into the sky, disappearing in the distance.)

Lady Ira (rolling her eyes): What is this, an anime? All we need is for there to be a little twinkle in the sky where he disappeared… sigh. Okay, I’m out. Good fight, Apogee, I’ll see you around.

Apogee: Hey, wait, you can’t just—

(Lady Ira smiles and drops a smoke bomb. She’s obscured from view, and there’s the sound of her coughing—each cough sounds further away, until the smoke clears and Lady Ira is nowhere to be seen.)

Apogee: Jeez. Well, at least it didn’t take too long to get rid of them…

(Apogee flies away.)

(Not long after, Lady Ira is at the river, trying to fish Baron von Boom out of the water.)

Lady Ira (holding out a stick for Baron to grab onto): And this is why we need to plan things out!

Baron von Boom: Oh, shut up!

-- End: Episode two