(The scene is an unmarked government building, surely home to all sorts of secret technologies. Lady Ira and her cohorts are standing outside, ready for their next attack.)
Lady Ira: Aw man, this is gonna be sweet. I bet there’s like a UFO or something in there.
Omen: I doubt that. I’m sure they keep those sorts of things in more remote locations.
Lady Ira: No, man, they just want you to THINK that so you don’t go looking for UFOs here!
Omen: Well, I guess we’ll see…
Baron von Boom: Baron von Boom will be happy enough just with secret super-explosives.
Omen: Guys, I think this is just some sort of military storage place. Probably lots of explosives, but I doubt there’s much secret stuff.
Baron von Boom: Grenades?
Omen: Probably.
Baron von Boom: Meh, that’ll do.
Lady Ira: Okay, let’s do this thing!
Baron von Boom: Right!
(The Baron charges up some energy into his hand, and brings his fist into the wall—the energy releases upon impact, causing an explosion that takes out the whole wall)
Omen (as they’re entering, noticing the alarms): Guys, won’t they send, like, armed guards at us?
Baron von Boom: Nah, they always end up waiting for Apogee to come save them. The authorities in this city are pathetic.
Lady Ira: Yeah, and you yourself said that Quantum would be raiding some place today, so Apogee should be busy. Once again we are home free! Ooh look—what’re those?
Baron von Boom: Rocket launchers! Fuck yes!
(The three start picking up whatever implement of destruction catches their eyes, until, to their surprise, Apogee’s familiar voice calls out…)
Apogee: A little daring today, aren’t we?
Lady Ira (Looking at Apogee, then at Omen): Wait… wait. Omen, you said he’d be busy.
Omen: I thought he would be!
Baron von Boom: Maybe he finished early?
Lady Ira: Nah, Quantum usually takes Apogee more time than that to get rid of… Hey! Apogee! Quick question!
Apogee: What?
Lady Ira: Have you heard anything about, like, Quantum raiding any places today?
Apogee: No, why?
Lady Ira: Damn! Omen, you were wrong!
Omen: I’m never wrong! Maybe Apogee just hasn’t heard about it yet, or maybe—
(Just then, Quantum and Chandra bust in from the ceiling—obviously not having noticed the gaping hole in the wall on the other side of the building. Quantum looks down and seems a bit irritated to find that he’s already been beaten there.)
Quantum: Oh, goddammit.
Lady Ira: Hey, there he is!
Baron von Boom (to Omen): What the hell?
Omen: Oops… I didn’t realize he’d be raiding this place.
Baron von Boom: Good going. 9_9
Lady Ira: Quantum! You’re like ten minutes late!
Quantum: What the hell are you talking about?
Chandra: We got delayed.
Omen: Jeez…
Apogee: … Okay, I’m just a little confused.
Chandra: So am I, actually…
Lady Ira: Dammit, you gotta be on time! Else Apogee comes after us and… (She realizes she wasn’t supposed to have said that … and…
Quantum: You—you’ve been using us as a distraction?!
Lady Ira: Well, um… not as such…
Quantum: You bastards! (He gets out his laser and starts firing) All this time, I’ve been getting my ass kicked and you’ve been getting away scot-free?!
(Lady Ira covers herself and her comrades with a barrier)
Baron von Boom: Well, maybe if you didn’t suck so much you wouldn’t get your ass kicked all the time!
(Quantum growls and pulls a familiar taser-like item from his belt. Ira’s eyes widen)
Lady Ira: Shit! I know that thing!
(Quantum fires the taser dart and Ira drops her barrier, jumping out of the way. Baron von Boom starts throwing energy bolts and Omen uses his telekinesis to levitate and throw various objects at Quantum. Meanwhile, Chandra and Apogee stand at the sidelines.)
Apogee: Um… I thought I was supposed to, er…
Chandra: Sigh…
Apogee: Should I just, you know… leave?
Chandra (shrugging): If you’d like.
Apogee: Nah, I can’t… (under his breath, to himself) The Professor would have my head…
Chandra: Oh well. (She calls out to Quantum) Be careful around all the explosives, Quantum!
Quantum: I know, I know! (He tries shooting the Baron with his laser, but Baron dodges) Dammit, stay still!
Baron von Boom: Do you really think I’ll stay still just because you said to?!
Quantum: It’d make things a lot easier for me… (He groans) Stop running around in front of the gunpowder, fucktard! I don’t want to blow myself up too!
(The Baron sticks his tongue out at Quantum and shoots more energy bolts)
Lady Ira: You be careful too, Baron! This whole place could go up if you do something wrong!
Apogee: Maybe you guys shouldn’t be fighting here at all. I mean, I was just gonna use my fists, you can’t set off explosives with that…
Omen (throwing more stuff at Quantum): No one asked you!
Apogee (rolling his eyes): Fine then. No skin off my back if this place explodes, I’ve got the whole invulnerability thing going…
Lady Ira (shielding the Baron from laser fire): Showoff! You’ve only got limited invulnerability and you know it!
Apogee: It’s good enough!
Chandra: You know, I’ve been wondering. Where did you get your powers, anyway?
Apogee: Y-you’re serious? I don’t really tell those sorts of things to villains…
Chandra: Is it personal?
Apogee: Yes, it’s personal!
Chandra: Oh, sorry.
Apogee: This is ridiculous. Okay, I’m stepping in.
(Apogee walks in between the dueling villains and, shielding his face from the various lasers and energy bolts and such that are hitting him, makes his way over to Quantum. Quantum tries to attack, but is hit by a chair thrown by Omen. While he’s distracted, Apogee snatches the laser out of Quantum’s hand and snaps it in half. Quantum reaches for his belt, but before he can get out another weapon Apogee grabs him and throws him across the room, at Baron von Boom. Baron catches the young mad scientist and proceeds to toss him over his shoulder, as though he were a used gum wrapper. Quantum crashes into a shelf full of ammunition, which falls over on top of him. Apogee and Baron von Boom, meanwhile, have begun fist-fighting.)
Chandra (helping Quantum up): Maybe we should get out of here. We obviously aren’t going to get anything here.
Quantum: But…
Chandra: We’re outnumbered. Between them and Apogee, it’s four of them against the two of us. And I’m barely armed so I don’t think you can even count me.
Quantum: … you’re right. (He sighs, rubbing his head) But fuck, I can’t believe they’ve been using us. I just wanna… ugh!
Chandra: We’ll get them later. Don’t lose your head.
Quantum (frowning): … Come on.
(He takes Chandra by the hand and activates his rockets. The two of them fly up and out the hole in the ceiling, until they’re high above the building. Quantum stops, however, and the two hover above…)
Lady Ira (Looking up): Hey, the little kid left!
Omen (Also looking up): No wait, he’s stopped. What’s he…
(Just then, something falls to the ground. It makes a beeping noise.)
Baron von Boom: Oh, shit—!!
(The object explodes, setting off a chain reaction. Within milliseconds the entire building is nothing more than a plume of flame and smoke rising into the sky. Quantum and Chandra look down on the inferno, frowns on their faces.)
Chandra: I really doubt that took any of them out.
Quantum: I know.
Chandra: We should go.
(Quantum nods, and they fly off. Down in the crater that was once a government building, Apogee stands, coughing in the smoke, his clothes tattered and his jetpack destroyed.)
Apogee: Ugh… crazy little…
(He looks around, and sees Lady Ira and her group all standing under a barrier. Lady Ira finally drops the barrier, the danger gone, and nearly collapses, falling into the Baron’s arms.)
Lady Ira: Buuuu… bad explosion, mean explosion…
Omen: I think she’s spent.
Baron von Boom (looking up at Apogee before looking back at Omen): The hero’s still standing.
Lady Ira (a little out of it): Beat him up~
Baron von Boom: You don’t have to tell me twice! (He shoves Ira into Omen’s arms and stomps off toward Apogee)
Omen: You sure you’re okay to keep fighting, Ira?
Lady Ira: Ira is fine! Ira is completely okay~ (She steps away from Omen, wobbling a bit)
(Baron von Boom flies past them, having been thrown by Apogee. Ira looks over to see if the Baron is okay, but gets pelted by Apogee’s heat vision, knocking her back a distance.)
Omen: … damn.
(Omen runs over, dodging more blasts from the hero’s laser eyes, and picks Ira up)
Lady Ira: I’m okaaaayyy…
Omen: Baron, are you alright?
Baron von Boom (standing up with a bloody nose): Da, completely fine.
Omen: Why do you guys always say you’re fine when you’re obviously not?!
Lady Ira: Toooootally fiiiine~
Omen (looking over at Apogee): Hey! Apogee! How about we call this one a draw and go home, eh?
Apogee: I’d rather not! I’m going to be in deep trouble for ruining this jetpack and losing the building, you know, and I’d like to have at least one arrest to show for it!
Omen: Jeez…
Baron von Boom (wiping the blood from his nose): I can take him, come on.
Omen: Goddamn, man, he really did a number on your face, huh?
Baron von Boom: Baron von Boom will be fine by tomorrow.
Omen: I really think we should get the hell out of here.
(Apogee starts shooting his heat vision again. The villains jump out of the way, and Baron von Boom responds with energy bolts. Omen shakes Ira)
Omen: Ira, you still conscious?
Lady Ira: Buuu…
Omen: There’s no point in staying here. There’s nothing left to steal and we’re in bad shape. Give the Baron a retreat order, okay?
Lady Ira: Ira could use a nap… okay. Retreeeeaaat~
Baron von Boom: Ah, damn.
Omen (looking in Ira’s sleeve): Where do you keep those smoke bombs…?
(Ira rummages through her sleeves and hands Omen a smoke bomb. He throws it at the ground and the area is enveloped in smoke.)
Apogee: Damn! (He starts shooting eye beams into the smoke, but doesn’t seem to hit anything. When the smoke clears, everyone is gone.) … the Professor is gonna kill me!
(Apogee’s watch starts to beep. He looks at it and, seeing that it’s Marika trying to contact him, he drops it and crushes it under his heel.)
Apogee: The explosion destroyed it. Yeah.
End: Episode seven.
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